these days
;)
They move slowly when you're in them but then you realise that they've gone - and so fast. I'm taking deeper breaths and letting things drop. 'Standards' as my grandmother would have called them. Obligations. Expectations. I'm not someone that all this comes naturally to. In fact, my husband would laugh to think that any of these have been dropped. I expect a lot from myself; from everyone. But when it comes to Joel I'm more able to let it go.
The side of my self that I like most is the one that takes life lightly and it's the one that having a son draws out. Perhaps a child, I don't know. But my son is all I know and I know that I like myself better for being his mother. Not all the time by any means but that's for another time.
This time is about swimming outdoors, tennis and table football, drawing, playing with Lego and being silly. Hugging. Which is heaven for me, except for that point in the middle of the day when I need to draw breath and draw myself into my self for a little. So he goes up to his room with his books and I do - whatever I need. I need a lot of things but with him in my life it makes it easier.
July 19, 2012
Reader Comments (12)
Best wishes to you and your little family.
Denise, the ease we have with each other is what I hope will see us through whatever difficult times come in the year ahead. And he does have a bit of a dude aspect to his choice of clothes and colours and anything drum is a given...
Monica, a necessary dropping of the standards is a small but important thing for me (struggling with it today!) Thanks for recognising it.
Hila, letting you off the hook now and then - that's exactly what I try to do. Just let some things go; love all the time. Your mother seems to have served you well....
Lyn, I'm delighted to hear the joy you obviously take in your grandson. You're so right about the fine line between over-protection (because we love) and the need to let them make mistakes; to fail. And to love them and take the tough decisions and not seek always to be a friend. It's a hard one. Necessary but difficult.
Beth, thank you. I'm aware that next summer holiday he'll be different again. I'm trying to make the most of these days. Oh they go so fast!
Alisa, hello! It really does begin earlier than I'd fondly imagined (though I do remember kiss chase and having a favourite boy around this age!). Joel loves playing with the girls in his class though is touchy and bemused by 'the love thing'. I'd love to hear the conversations between you and your daughter. Having a boy - even though he's a sensitive one interested in other people - must necessarily be different from relating to a girl. But it's such a great age isn't it?
Great to hear from you Elvis! I so recognise that feeling you describe of getting the worst of each other during term-time. My dread is that next term's hours get so much longer it will be worse. We'll tackle it as it comes I guess. Oh that quiet space in the day with no questions! Sanity demands it for sure. I wonder how the holiday time fits with your beautiful work? Perhaps, like me, you set all aside for a little while.
XOXO
I miss your writing.
Denise